Wednesday, April 29, 2009


There is no one giant step that does it. It's a lot of little steps.
Peter A. Cohen

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The first drop...

My dental hygienist gave me 10 dollars today, to put towards Esme's therapy. I have never met her before. I was telling her a bit about Esme and she handed me a ten dollar bill. "For your daughter" she said. "I know it's not much".

The first donation we have received.

And yes, just a drop in the bucket.

But I have faith that it will start to fill up, drop by drop.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Esme was officially diagnosed with Autism on Wednesday April 22nd. It is strange how sad we have all been after recieving the diagnosis - we really did not question whether or not she had autism. Her level of affectedness has been assessed as "severe", so that was a bit of a downer. I was really, really hoping they would say moderate. How weird is that! I guess we all hold on to some hope that things arent as bad as they seem.

With the diagnosis comes access to some new services - unfortunatly, the wait list for therapy is around 2 years. I cannot wait any longer, it is not fair to Esme to deny her the therapy that she needs to be able to function in the world.

We will have to go for private therapy while we wait.

We will have to raise the money.

A lot of it.

But its for Esme. I will figure it out.

She is happy. She is alive. She is progressing and learning and loving.

And we love her to bits.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Big Day (tomorrow)!

Tomorrow is the big day. We go back to see the developmental pediatrician and (hopefully) get a diagnosis. I am feeling pretty good about everything - I think it will be a good thing to be able to put this diagnosis search behind us. In any case, I feel like we have accepted that Esme does have autism, and are moving forward with that. The diagnosis will just make it official for everyone else!

On other fronts, we have begun attempting potty training Esme. Or 'potty learning', if you prefer. We had a good couple of days, but today has been The Day of Very Large Pee Accidents. On the floor. And couch.

Nothing like cleaning up a puddle of pee to keep you in the moment.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
- Og Mandino

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

We made it!

After all the fuss, we made it. Esme's assessment is done, and (hopefully) we will have an official diagnosis in two short weeks.

I think it went pretty well - Esme played in the room with the therapists while we spoke to the doctor, and by the sounds of it she was not very interactive or verbal... which is how she usually is when shes not with Cameron or myself. Just how we wanted her to act, so they would have a fair view of what kind of behaviours we are concerned about.

I get the feeling that the diagnosis isn't in question too much, and I am really hoping we can close this "finding a diagnosis' chapter in the next few weeks.

As much as it sucks to know that your child has so many challenges, it will be good to have a diagnosis. I think.

After a long morning, we hit the park and did some swinging.

Nothing like swinging after a stressful day.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Full-steam ahead... I hope.

No fever today! Esme was her usual happy self, although she started to act pretty grouchy by the time bedtime rolled around. I am hoping that was only because she didn't nap today, and not because she will wake tomorrow with another fever!
So, we're off tomorrow for our assessment. Hopefully it goes off with as few hitches as possible!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Darn that Murphy and his laws!

Two days until Esme's assessment. The assessment we've been waiting almost a year for. The assessment we almost paid 2000 dollars for. The assessment that is now being covered. The assessment that will ideally give us a diagnosis and let us start getting more services, or at least on waiting lists for services. The 2-plus-hour, intensive assessment. Ya, that one.

And guess who's sick.

The "assess-ee" herself, Ezzy.

No appetite.
And... ahemm.... other unmentionable symptoms.

She is in pretty good spirits, so as long as shes not any worse tomorrow, I will go ahead and keep our appointment.

But Esme doesn't like to do anything the easy way.

Life's just too boring that way.