Monday, March 23, 2009

Phone calls

Today I was in the other room and heard "Beep.... beep.... beeeeeeep" coming from Esme's general direction. I popped my head around the corner to find Esme with the phone to her ear, chatting away, pressing a few buttons here and there, for effect. I asked her what she was doing and she held the phone out to me and smiled and said "Phone!".

Pretend play? Immitation? Babbling? Eye contact? Answering a question?? How far she has come in only a few months. I love this kid!

And for no other reason than showing off how cute she is...

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Assessment and Knowing-For-Sure

It's almost here. Esme's assessment. Only three weeks to go, after a delay of a little over a month. But I won't complain too much about the delay, as her assessment will now be covered, saving us a nice chunk of change. Which we most certainly can use.

At speech therapy today our speech therapist promised me that we won't walk out of the assessment without a diagnosis. She said that if they don't diagnose Esme with autism she will personally call them and ask them if they are crazy! Still, I am nervous. Worried that they will say its not Autism and we will still be looking for a diagnosis. Worried that they will say its not Autism and we will be denied funding for therapy, denied an Inclusion Facilitator at preschool, denied funding for respite and therapeutic leisure activities. Worried that they will say its not Autism and we will be nowhere closer to a diagnosis and nowhere closer to moving past this stage.

And I am worried they will say its Autism. Worried about how we will cope knowing for sure. I mean, we know for sure now. But that will be for-sure-for-sure.

Of course, Esme won't change. The girl we bring into the assessment room will be the same girl we leave with. Our funny, beautiful, smart, hardworking, loving, friendly, wonderful girl.

I just hope hearing the words "Your daughter has Autism" wont change us.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


"Listen to the mustn'ts, child.

Listen to the don'ts.

Listen to the shouldn'ts,

the impossibles,

the won'ts.

Listen to the never haves,

then listen close to me...

Anything can happen, child.

Anything can be.”

- Shel Silverstein